Why do I feel it again? May be its because he was the only one who could constantly raise fears in me about my intellect. Or may be its the way he handled things, his accented English combined with the so called "mass" telugu, the way he used to start his class, the way he used to show his frustration. All these things and many more...
I clearly remember the day when he asked me to get out, and while I was leaving, the slap he gave me just rhymes in my head. I wasn't upset more any other day, but I would be lying if I don't express the happiness that I felt then. The happiness was because of his rage on my failure to perform, an indication of how much he expected of me, an indication of possibly my talents.
I loved him, yet never found courage to go meet him, may be because I dreaded him for expecting something out of me. Or may be I feared talking nonsense to him, which again would make me appear lowly to him. The humor on students' thinking which was very frequent in his classes only showed how frank and objective. And the way he used to tear apart te Sultan Chand book only added to his charm. All these things, made me love him but made me dread him more, as I personally believe in the inevitability of such nonsense. After all, why should Sultan Chand spend anytime on its books when the majority of the students it serves are first rate fools. I would fell, a good student (like me) would see the mistakes himself and hence would not need Sultan Chand's help.
Anyway, coming back to the topic, what is zero doing here. Well, this is where I console myself. Zero just reminds us of the existence of something called zero. So even if everything is destroyed, you have zero left. You can find solace in the fact that, come what may, zero always remains. zero is beautiful in this way. A nice name given to nothingness, in order to deal with it. How else would anyone have described nothingness? How else would anyone console himself if he didn't believe in something that never changes. People call it with different names, god is something that never changes, doesn't nothingness belong to the same category. god is believed to be omni-everything, isn't nothingness too?? So if nothingness is god, zero is the golden idol of that god.
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The post reminds me of the great mathematician , who influenced my behaviour and thinking , in many many ways. Its really sad that he is no more. If i had a time machine, going back and listening to his lectures from 4.30 to 6 in the morning, would top the list :) May his soul rest in peace. I wonder if even heaven met his expectations and objectivity :)
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